Sangria and Stilettos

Our relationship had been over for a long time, but we did love one another once upon a time and here I was finding out this news after everyone else. Why was I finding out this way? Why hadn’t anyone thought to tell me? Was I not supposed to care, because we’d dated so long ago? Would it have been easier to process this information if we weren’t friends or if we had a bad break-up?

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Are the Olympics over yet? It kinda feels like they’ve been going on for a really long time. Is it just me? All I know is, this has got to be the most that I’ve watched NBC since “The Cosby Show” aired.

My “Good, Bad, Ugly” thoughts on London 2012, here. 

As I sit here on the eve of Jamaica’s 50th Independence (August 6), I have one eye on the live feed of the 100m Men’s Final at the 2012 Olympics and the other on the weatherchannel.com to see if Tropical Storm Ernesto is on track to affect Jamaica, with quick glances at my phone for texts from family and friends attending Jamaica50 celebration events.

I’m a “gen X”,  first-generation American or “Jamerican”. My parents immigrated to the U.S. from Jamaica in the early seventies and settled in…Jamaica, Queens — which I’ve always thought was funny.

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Question: When did we start making ignorant Tweets international news?

Think About It: For all of the indignation that some Black writers/bloggers and magazines showed about “Hairgate”, where were their stories about Gabrielle Douglas, John Orozco, Cullen Jones, Kari Miller, Carmelita Jeter, Alyson Felix, Sanya Richards-Ross and others prior to last week? Why didn’t the majority of Black America know about these phenoms before the Olympics? Have they already been celebrated with a cover on or featured in our signature magazines and I missed it?

Consider the source. Just because the words “black”, “ebony”, “afro” might appear in the title, that doesn’t always mean that the best interests of the Black community are at heart. Some of us fell for the old banana-in-the-tailpipe routine and let something minor distract us from the importance / significance of something major.

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If my next boyfriend / husband is someone I already know, I’m kicking his ass for making me wait. Is Jesus going to come again before I have another serious relationship? As Charlotte once lamented on an episode of Sex & the City, “I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he?” What if he’s been here all along?

(Insert a mental remix to Musiq’s 2000 single, “Girl Next Door” as you read. Or just click here and sing-a-long.)

I started to think about the guys that I’ve known throughout the course of my crushing / dating career and wondered if any of them, could be the “one”. Seriously, dude. Make yourself known, post-haste. What are you waiting for? Procrastination is not a turn on!

Is it the guy with a slight resemblance to Al B. Sure that first I met back in the day?  We went on several dates, the first of which still is in my Top 3 all time favorites… He didn’t want to date exclusively (read: he was a junior manwhore), I moved to a different state, I got married, he got married, I got divorced, he got divorced, but we’ve kept in touch throughout… could it be him?

Or, what about my not so secret crush that I communicate (flirt) with all the time on Facebook? He never took notice of my existence in the several years that we attended the same church…*sideeye*,  but, we have mutual friends and connected via our “like” of each others comments. It took me 18 years to wear him down and now he can finally see how funny, charming and well rounded I am in cyberspace, can’t he? Well, I’m even more entertaining in 3D. Save for the fact that we’re 900 miles apart and he doesn’t like dogs, it could still work? (<—- an example of the kind of thinking that gets me into trouble everytime…)

It could be the actual tall, dark and handsome barista who is the only one who can make my grande caramel macchiato with extra caramel, just right. He’s seen me at my groggy, unmotivated worst on a daily basis for the past 18 months but always has a smile and a kind word and a take on current events at the ready.

Knowing me, the way I do, it  could very well be a redux of my last romance. (I think I just heard all my girlfriends say “HELL NO!”, before their heads simultaneously exploded…)

It could literally be the guy that lives next door…but he’s 73. So…, we’ll see.  Is it my perpetual “Words With Friends” nemesis? You love words, I love words. A match made in Webster’s dictionary heaven.

If I were still waiting to exhale, I’d have suffocated. I’m not sitting home alone waiting for anyone to sweep me off my feet. But if I already know you, we’re saving each other a lot of time in the awkward getting-to-know-you phase and can move straight to the love and adventure. Let’s get to steppin’!

After hearing reports that a 4 month old and 4 year old child were at the Aurora theater shooting, can we have an honest conversation about where children belong?

Contrary to the popular belief of some parents, children don’t belong in all places at all times.

It is my opinion that midnight movie showings aren’t the best place for babies. I have to double-check, but I don’t think “Ice Age” and “Toy Story” have late showings for a reason — their target audience should be asleep at that hour.
 
When a friend and I went to see “Ted” a few weeks ago, we noticed that there were several young children in the theater.  I understand how some parents might have seen an oversized stuffed bear in the commercials and thought, “kid movie!”, but even if you didn’t do advance research on the film to check on its appropriateness… (yes, I’m judging you), once you sat there and heard the cursing, drug/sex references… wouldn’t you get up and leave instead of subjecting impressionable minds to that? Can’t wait the six months until it’s offered on PPV or shown on HBO? Is it that important? (Yes, I’m still judging you.)

Last winter, I went to South Beach and was out on crowded Ocean Drive late in the midnight hour. I saw several parents pushing strollers right through crowded sidewalks in front of Wet Willies and the other bars that line that street. Seriously? You couldn’t take the time to be on the opposite / less crowded side of the street closer to the beach and away from the raucous bar scene? What are these people thinking?

Some hair salons have signs posted which read, “No children allowed unless they are having a service provided.” Why? Because (some) tired Moms come to the salon, don’t properly supervise their kids, who then run into hot combs, scissors or get exposed to unsafe chemicals as well as some lively and sometimes R-rated conversation among adults. Kids don’t belong everywhere, especially if they’re not going to be properly supervised.

Unfortunately, violence can happen anywhere, including where children are supposed to be (i.e., schools, playgrounds, etc…) but what I’m talking about is not due just to the threat of random mass violence. It’s the overall environment and what is appropriate for certain age levels. 

Yes, parents should still be able to “have a life” after they have children but there are certain lifestyle adjustments and planning that they should go thru in the best interest of the child. Kids simply don’t belong in all places. Even amusement parks have signs that indicate “must be this tall to ride” for their safety. That needs to be applied more often.

Is it possible to have a meaningful conversation on social media? Or do you respond to disagreements like a cast member of Basketball Wives?

Brian McKnight. Sir? Sigh. You’ve been blazed enough already this week. Although I do feel like my intelligence was insulted a second time with the “explanation” of how the “Let Me Show You How” video came to fruition. A parody? really? A parody video shoulda been more official and/or obvious and would’ve been best done through “Funny or Die” or as an SNL Digital Short with Andy Samberg. I don’t believe you/you need more people, Brian. Seriously. Next time, take a songwriting credit and push the song over to Chris Brown and Luda. 

A “response” video to the aforementioned ratchetness was brought to my attention and it’s from Khristian Dentley. Who’s that, you ask? Well, I know I asked… he’s the newest member of Take 6. Take 6 being the group that Brian’s brother, Claude is in… Oooooh, the melodrama thickens! Was Khristian taking a shot a Brian? If so, how will THAT go over in group rehearsal? Awkward much?

And if Brian’s hot mess song spawns umpteen response videos like “Things XYZ People” say… I’ma have another problem with Mr. McKnight. Have a seat, Pop-Pop!

Brandy. Ma’am? Sigh. Her “Behind The Music” premiered last night.  I do feel for some of the pressure that she must’ve been under as a young woman in the spotlight and I think most people would agree that she was receiving poor advice from her management/PR team. BUT, she revealed at least two instances where she purposefully and publicly lied to her fans.

Now, if others can get forgiveness, so can she… BUT… according to her, she lied to “protect the Brandy brand” and sell records. And now, she’s coming clean with these revelations and the truth! The truth, I say!  (a la Mary J. Blige/Janet Jackson) to…. sell records. Her new album drops in a couple of weeks. #blankstare… Ms. Norwood? Please have a seat. Take your brother with you too. I don’t think he’s done anything recently, but he unleashed Kim K. on us, and that is truly unforgivable.

Side Note: Speaking of Kim… KimYe? (Kim and Kanye West for anyone living under a rock). I actually think those two can work together. Until they don’t. Have a nice, blinged out/bedazzled seat.

Ok, ok! I was propelled to see “Think Like A Man” this evening from the same force that propels me to watch any reality show with a Black cast. I was honestly prepared to dislike the movie based on having read the book (thru my book club) and my “meh” feelings about Steve Harvey. BUT, surprisingly enough, I enjoyed the flick and ended up being thoroughly entertained with literal LOL moments to boot.

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Now that George Zimmerman has been charged and arrested for Trayvon Martin’s murder, and we all await the next steps which might include a trial, I’m recalling my own experience last November, on being part of a jury for the first time. Unlike most people, I WANTED to be on the jury to learn about, experience the process and fulfill my civic duty.

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Does Shonda Rhimes have an agreement with ABC that she can only have one Sistah on her shows at a time?

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